4 Tips for Blended Families

Blended families are becoming more and more popular. These families are those that are combined in marriage either because of a divorce or the loss of their previous spouse. These families face much different trials than other families. Here are 4 tips of how to do your best if you are in a blended family or if you may be soon. However, you never know what the future holds. You may get remarried or you may marry someone that already has children from a previous relationship.

#1- Accept the fact that it will take about 2 years to reach normalcy in your family.

You and the family have both undergone a big change in your family system. It will take time to get things going at a normal pace and to have a good routine with your new family.

#2- The biological parent does all the heavy discipline to their children.

This is really important. The step-parent should still take a role in discipline but not the heavy discipline. Disciplining comes after a lot of discussion with the biological parent of their ideas of disciplining their children. If the step-parent disciplines on the heavier issues, it may cause for disputes among the children and they may say things like; "What gives you the right to tell me what to do?" or "You're not my mom" or "You're not my dad" or "You don't know me". Hearing these things from your new children may be hurtful. It is so important you talk to your spouse about discipline and how you together want to raise your children.

#3- Step-parent's should take a role similar to a good Aunt or Uncle.

A good aunt or uncle does not let a child get away with whatever they want. They are supportive and interested in their niece/ nephew. They also want what is best for that child. A good aunt/uncle does not discipline a child harshly just as a step-parent should not (as discussed in tip #2).

#4- Parents need to have more closed door discussions.

I touched on this tip briefly in tip #2. Because of the blended family, the couple needs to talk a lot more behind closed doors than other couples do. Being in a blended family calls for more discussion concerning the children and combining of families and parenting styles. It is helpful to communicate and be on the same page as your spouse- and of course this goes for any relationship.

Blended families are unique! And they can be great! I personally have not been in a blended family but my professor married for the first time a woman who was divorced and had two sons. He said that he is so blessed and so lucky to have those boys as his own and to help be their father. Here is a music video that helps see the joys of blended families. Make sure you have the tissues ready!

Brad Paisley - He Didn't Have To Be

3 Types of Parenting Styles

Authoritarian

This type of parent can be described as controlling, demanding, regulating, and put their child down rather than builds them up. A good example of this is the mother in Tangled. No, not the queen but the old lady- her kidnapper. Take a look here! You can tell she has all of these qualities.






Permissive

This type of parent is not strict with rules, inconsistent, they love their children very much, and they are more concerned about being their child's friend rather than their parent. An example of this would be the father of Veruca Salt in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Watch this example here! You can tell he let's his daughter walk all over him but he loves her so much he will give in to her every demand.

Authoritative 

The last parenting style I want to talk about is the Authoritative. This sounds very similar to Authoritarian. How I keep them straight is authoritatiVe has a V and so does loVe! Authoritative parents are active parents. They give their child choices. They encourage their child to develop traits such as courage, respect, and responsibility. An example of an authoritative parent would be like Raymond in this episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Click here to watch it. You can tell Authoritative parenting is not always easy. It sometimes is not what we are used to. Raymond and his wife, Debra, try to use active listening which is part of being an authoritative parent. Debra has a hard time applying this and was using more authoritarian approaches. Raymond learned a lot about authoritative parenting from the parenting class they attended.

Could you tell the difference in the three clips? What parent are you most like? What parent do you want to be like? 

Here is a link to a quiz you can take to see what your parenting style is! 

All Work and No Play

In our society today, we tend to be so focused on working and earning money. Ever since the Industrial Revolution families have spent more and more time apart due to jobs and school. This is not a bad thing at all! Education and work are very important for individuals, society, and the community. However, time apart can damage families.

Back before the industrial revolution, many families would work daily together to provide the necessities for living. This provided better opportunities to create together, cooperate, connect and contribute to the family. Now we have many families that hardly see their children because they have to work.

There are some benefits to having a dual income household but there are also a lot of costs that come with a dual income household as well. Here is a list of pros and cons:

Benefits of a Dual-Income Household:     

• Both have a sense of contributing
• Both feel useful
• Avoid boredom
• Live comfortably
• More money in case of emergencies
• Pay for children to participate in more activities
• Leisure money
• Savings
• Satisfaction of working
• Insurance benefits

Costs of a Dual-Income Household

• Double the transportation costs
• Less time with spouse and children
• Away from home more
• Eat out more
• Competing schedules
• Family role confusion
• Less time to talk about spending and budget
• Make unnecessary purchases because you think you can afford it
• Child care costs
• Less of an influence on your children
• Failure to convey importance of marriage and family values

In some cases the dual-income families spend more money having a second income then they would with only one because of the extra costs of transportation and child care. Granted, there are some families who can make it work with a dual-income. They

plan time for one of the parents to be home with the children or only when when the children are in school. Or even they can work off and on from home. What the important thing to remember is that spending time as a family and working together is so important. It helps to build and strengthen family relationships. As The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." There needs to be a balance in all things we do.

The Essence of Communication

आप शानदार विचारों के हो सकते हैं, लेकिन आप उन्हें भर में प्राप्त नहीं कर सकते हैं, तो अपने विचारों को कहीं भी नहीं मिलेगा।

Isn't that such a great statement! It is so true! 

How many of you just tried to google translate that? See communication is so important. The great thing is we have translators to help us with foreign languages. But what if our spouses language is foreign to us? What about your roommate? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Best friend? Is there a translator for that? Generally no. Last time I checked, people don't come with instruction manuals. 

So for all those just dying to know what that says or even what language it is, fret no longer. It's Hindi for "You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere" by Lee Lacocca.

Communication is key in our lives. However, only some of our communication comes from the words we use. The majority of how we communicate is in our tone and body language. So let's think, what is the primary way you communicate with others? Do you talk to people face to face, call them on the phone, email, text, skype? There are so many ways we can communicate and sadly most people choose texting.  Now why would this be a problem? Well, as I just said only a small amount of our communication comes from the words we use. In texts you don't see people's body language or hear their tone. Sure there are emojis and exclamation marks and question marks but what good does that do? A little bit yes, but in the long run not much compared to face to face talking. 

It's important to communicate with those around you, especially a significant other. No one person is the same. No one has the exact same views and ideas and personality. This is what makes communicating so interesting. As you talk to others and get to know them then your perspective can widen by what they know and believe. You can see more on the horizon in a way. Hold your finger up in front of you, now close one eye, now switch eyes. What happened to your finger? It moved right!? When you look at your finger, you are seeing two different images. Your brain makes it into one and you are able to tell perception and distance where your finger is. This is just like different perspectives. If you have more than one view on something you are able to see a better and bigger picture than being one sided. 

Now take note in the next couple days how you communicate. What source do you generally use? Text, call, face to face? What would you prefer people to use to communicate with you?  How is the communication in your relationships? How is the communication in the environment around you? When I go on campus I cannot tell you how many people I see on their phones. (On most days I am one of them.) But, I can tell you that communication is huge for me. I can be quite a talker and I really do enjoy being able to hold a good conversation with someone about meaningful things. Communication is vital to our lives. 

Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People?

Why do bad things happen to good people? This question has been asked by millions of individuals. What is the purpose of trials? Is there even a purpose to having trials?

Think back in your life. What was the biggest trial you have faced? It could be a job loss, or the loss of a loved one. It could be a trial of faith or a trial that came about from a bad choice you or someone else made. Trials or crisis happen in life. No one is immune to these things. If you are a good person or a bad person or even a mediocre person, trials will come about. 

Take a look at the chinese symbol for crisis. The two symbols that make up crisis are danger and opportunity. I find this outstanding! Crisis and trials are a time of danger and also times of opportunities. For example: a trial of your faith. It is a danger because you may potentially lose your faith but it is an opportunity because you can grow closer to God.

Let's go back to the first question: Why do bad things happen to good people? Trials are a part of life. They are necessary. Not only are they necessary to help us grow and learn but as we go through trials we are able to help others that are going through similar trials. Also, if we didn't have trials or bad times, we would have nothing to compare the good times with. 

Often times, people see trials as a punishment. Like "What did I do to deserve this?" But this is not true. Trials are not punishment. Sometimes they come because of other's poor choices. We all have agency to choose.  

Growing during trials is almost inevitable. There are many opportunities to grow during trials. One of the main things we can do is grow more in humility and understanding. Trials are great learning experiences because we would never otherwise choose to put ourselves in those situations. I would never choose to watch my mother struggle with her MS or choose for my dad to be away for long periods of time while I was in high school. But because of those trials and those difficulties I have learned so much- and those are minor things. 

Overall, trials are a normal part of life. We are all subject to difficulties but it is how we respond to our trials that helps us get the most out of them. Look back at the biggest trial you have faced in your life. Did you learn from it? I bet anything your answer is yes. I know I learned so much from my biggest trial that I would not like to go through that trial again but I am so thankful for the things that I learned from that trial. I would not give that up for anything. I'm sure you can feel similarly to that and if not go back and think about those things you have learned and ask yourself, "Would I have learned those things any other way?" 

4 Types of Affairs

We see affairs all over the media. In the tabloids, our favorite tv shows, popular movies. However, only about 21% of married men and 14% of married women have affairs. During the last 20 years these percentages have stayed around the same point. The reason why we see so much of affairs is because it creates good drama! And drama is entertaining.

There are four types of affairs. Some people may not even consider some of these types affairs. Most of the time when we think of someone having an affair it means that that person slept with someone other than their spouse. This is only one type of an affair. 

Here are the four types:

1. Fantasy

2. Visual

3. Romantic

4. Sexual

Fantasy affairs are emotionally detached. An example of this would be flirting with someone online. Maybe an old flame from the past. Even fantasizing about someone romantically who isn't your spouse. So for all you married people stop fantasizing about Channing Tatum no matter how chiseled his face is! 

Visual affairs are physically detached. The most common form of this affair is pornography. Recently, Cosmopolitan came out with an article titled 8 Reasons Porn Does Not Make Him a Cheater. This is false! Pornography is destroying! Is destroys a person on so many levels! The effects of pornography are objectification, overemphasis on the visual, overemphasis and desensitization of sec and instant gratification and instant solutions. Pornography is not real! It not only hurts the person who views it but it hurts their loved ones-spouse, children, and friends. 

The third type of affairs is a romantic affair. This is emotionally attached. This can happen between two coworkers as they drive together to places and talk about personal things. They begin to become attached to the other person and that attachment can lead to inappropriate feelings. That is why it is so important for married couples to never be alone with someone of the opposite sex. Wether it's a work lunch, carpooling, or just getting together with an old friend. As people share their values and aspirations it can lead to feelings of attachment to that words on where the only person a married person should be attached to is their spouse. 

The last type of affairs is sexual. This is physically attached. This is the affair that we all think of first. 

If someone does have an affair their is hope. The couple TOGETHER can get help from marriage and family therapists or ecclesiastical leaders. I stress the together part because if an individual goes to a therapist then the spouse will feel threatened and those relationships are more likely to end in divorce than those who don't get any help. All things should be done is the companionship. Most couples who choose to work through these problems together come out of it having a stronger marriage than before. Marriage and family is so important that we must do all we can to help families stay together. 

Anxiously Engaged

Getting engaged is such an exciting time of life! You begin to plan the rest of your life with the person you love and you get to plan a wedding and tell all our friends and family the big news! There is so much to do and so much to plan and all of it is so exciting! The bride needs to find a dress, the groom a tux, pick out colors, pick when and where you'll be married, find a cake, get engagement pictures, (get tons of ideas from Pinterest for all of this of course!) plan a honeymoon, find a place to live, make a wedding registry, and a million more things to do. Not only is this a very exciting time for the joyous couple but it is also a crucial part of how they will be together as a couple after they are married.

This part of the relationship helps couples learn how to make important decisions and work together. There are important things to talk about when you are engaged, a lot of the important topics should be discussed before the couple gets engaged so they know what to expect. (Here is a Value Survey the two of you can take to discuss important topics.)  It is important for the couple to plan the wedding and not the parents or other family members. Engagement is the time for a couple to bond more together and learn how to work as one and cleave to each other (Genises 2:24). Too often it becomes a time where the mother daughter relationship is strengthened when it should be the future husband and wife's relationship should be strengthened. This can also be a very stressful time. It is important to see how your significant other reacts to your stress and how you react to theirs. If couples are able to make good plans and decisions together this will in turn help with their first year of marriage where they will be making many adjustments and accommodations together as they learn to live with each other and support one another.

Marriage is such an exciting part of life and is a great learning experience for those involved. It is important to work together. Frequently, the fiance lets his future bride go with whatever plans she has been making since she was young and it becomes her wedding and her reception when it should be their wedding and their reception. It is important for the couple to be one in the decision making process and both have an opinion about the events to come.

What is Love?

We have all seen the fairytales where the guy falls in love with the princess and they live happily ever after. Love at first sight normally. But we all know fairy tales are not reality! So what is love? What causes someone to "fall in love"? How do people "fall in love"? There are many things that factor into dating and love.

Think about how many times you've been in love. Generally this number is one or two times. What did that feel like? How did it happen? When we are searching for someone to date we put people through a filter. What is the first thing that influences who you date? Most of you would probably say appearance...right? You're so close, that's actually the second filter. The first is location, if they live close to you. However, online dating helps broaden our search for potentials.

For me, I love people watching. Here at BYU-Idaho it is so easy to observe flirting and dating. You can see how couple interact with each other and if they click or not. The dating game is so real! You see this when guys will go up and try to flirt with girls and the girls either are clueless, want nothing to do with them, or reciprocate the flirting. But what is the good behind this? It's the interactions we have with people that we can tell if we like them or want to pursue anything with the other person. You may think someone is really cute and this could be reciprocated but if you can't talk together then your relationship will go nowhere! For a successful relationship there needs to be shared values and interests. There should still be some differences, some individuality. It's when things align and when the person you're with makes you feel complete and helps you work to be better.

Now, I am no love expect on any terms!! But I have learned a lot through my own experiences and through others.  There are factoring things that go into falling in love but overall it is between the victims involved. They will come to know each other as they go on a wide range of dates so they can see the other in different situations. This way you can really get to know the different sides of you personal interest.  Low is a mystery. Quoting Ed Sheeran, "people fall in love in mysterious ways".

Getting Out of the Ruts

Yesterday, I was in a wheelchair for two and a half hours to help me see what those with orthopedic impairments go through on a daily basis. Sadly it was only for two and a half hours so I wasn't able to get a full experience but what I did experience taught me alot.

There were 8 tasks I had to do while being wheelchair bound:
1. Get a drink from the drinking fountain.
2. Go another building on campus and ask for directions/assistance (e.g., Kimball Building information desk).
3. Ride an elevator.
4. Go through a door using the door opener.
5. Go up and down a hill by yourself.
6. Go through a door without using the door opener.
7. Ask for assistance to navigate a tough spot.
8. Go to the restroom, enter a stall, and transfer your body from the wheelchair to the toilet. Reverse the process and return to the wheelchair.

You know how there is a tall and short drinking fountain next to each other. I used to think the short one was for children. Well it serves this purpose too but it is for those individuals in a wheelchair. It was a perfect height to drink. Except I still managed to spill all over myself cause I'm short and clumsy. I am so glad I didn't have to reach up to the tall fountain!

As I rode down the hill to ask a questions at the Kimball Building, a guy came running to help me get down the hill safely. As we talked he told me that he had been in a coma when he was 19 and afterwards had to be in a wheelchair as he recovered. He expressed his understanding to getting around in a wheelchair and how hard it can be. I was amazed at how nice people were as I rode around campus. Many people offered to help push me up the hill and open doors for me. It made me reflect on if I am this considerate to others around me.

Some things that were hard was going down the hill by myself. My wheelchair didn't have brakes which hurt my hands and the speed increased as I went down the hill. Another hard thing was when I went to the bathroom the door was really hard to open and get through on my own without a button. And the handicap stalls are always in the back of the bathroom. Do you know how hard that is to maneuver around people and the small space in the bathroom!? I ended up not using that bathroom because of this. The handicap stall was also tiny!! It was only a few inches bigger than the normal stalls. I ended up finding a handicap single bathroom. That had plenty of room to turn my chair around and attempt to transfer my body to and from the toilet. This was so hard! I ended up giving up and used my legs.

I am a pretty independent person. I realized as people would ask to help me I would feel absolutely helpless. I ended up just talking to them and trying to make conversation. I felt kind of awkward cause all I was doing was just sitting there and I hate not being able to help with things. I felt silly at times how people would serve me.

As I wheeled myself up to the Hinckley Building, one of my wheels go stuck in between the grass and sidewalk going uphill. I could not get it out. So I turned around and asked the people behind me to help me get out of the rut. They ran up and agreed and said, "Of course, we all get in a rut sometimes!" I loved this. No matter our situation we all get in ruts. And it's always nice for someone to help get us out! The biggest thing I learned from this simulation was that I need to be more considerate of those around me and help others who may be in a rut- physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

Hope, Triumph, and Everyday Joy

Today Stephanie Nielson came to BYU-Idaho and talked about her experience. In 2008 her and her husband were in a plane crash where her body was about 80% burned. Click here to see her story. Grab some tissues, you'll need them!

At the forum, she explained her story and gave some additional insights that can't be found in the video. As she talked I wondered to myself, What would it be like to have a near death experience? How would I react? What would I do? What would be my last wish? If I survived-like Stephanie did- would I wish I had died instead of have to endure the pain and stress and challenges that came with the accident? 

She talked about how everything in her life would never be the same. She wouldn't be able to do certain things and she wouldn't even look the same or feel the same. Life as she knew it was over and a sequel began. She talked about the pain of having her wounds scrubbed so they wouldn't get infected. Now I've had a few of my wounds scrubbed before but those were just scratches! Her wounds covered her whole body! 

It tugged at my heart strings so bad when she talked about looking at herself in the mirror for the first time. I could only imagine how hard it would be to look so different. It would be so hard on your self-esteem and your identity. Something I liked that she said was she wanted to be

"Not just a survivor but a thriver"

She told us that the only way she could have made it through this trial of hers is through Jesus Christ. He helped lift her burdens and gave her strength to go forward. This is what Christ does for all of us, each and every day. He is there for us to rely on and turn to and He will never leave or forsake us. I thought to myself, we all have scars of sometime. Whether it is scars of physical injury or emotional or spiritual. We all have them. The Savior is there to help each of those wounds heal. His Atonement can heal all ailments.

Gender is an Essential Characteristic

Preface

This can be a very touchy subject and I wanted to say that these are my beliefs. I would hope that anyone who reads this will be considerate to that and I will in turn respect and be considerate of your beliefs. We are all different and have different opinions and I fully support that! It is important to have differences in the world. The variety makes life interesting. So that being said, there were a few things I learned or thought about a little differently this week. Also the examples and stories I use are generalities. I'm not saying they are always like this- there are always exceptions.

There is a lot of talk about gender and characteristics. There is a big debate about if society is telling boys and girls how to behave. To some extent we do but for the most part we are born different. First of all, girls are more likely to have nurturing qualities than boys. Give girls Barbies and they play house, give boys Barbies and they turn them into guns. When I was younger my brothers had a ton of dinosaur toys and I would play with them, but I would play differently than them. They would fight and attack each other and I would take one I thought was cute and make it my pet and care for it. This was my favorite toy of theirs to play with and of course we had two so they wouldn't fight over one! To me this little guy needs to be taken care of because his leg was broken. But my brothers just threw him at other things and broke his egg he came in.




So often people disregard the essential characteristics of males and females and talk them down. Like how girls are more emotional- this can often be considered a bad thing but it's not. It can do a lot of good and is needed. People who tend to act different than the typical male or female get made fun of or ostracized. Females tend to be more caring, nurturing, gentle, creative and artistic, good speakers, care about fashion, and are more emotionally sensitive. If a guy tends to have these characteristics he is made fun of or called gay.

Now let's think about this...Ladies, would you like your man to be caring? Nurturing/good with children? Creative/artistic? Articulate? Well dressed and groomed? Or Emotionally sensitive? These are good qualities! If any man who had these qualities was taken off the market for us ladies it would be devastating! I don't know what you think but a guy who is kind and caring and sensitive is prized. Another thing about these qualities is they are all Christlike attributes! Christ is a perfect example of showing compassion and caring for those around him. He was gentle and creative and a good speaker. Just a thought.

Another statement that hit me in our class discussion is about same-gender relationships. Many people think that if they are in a same-gender relationship they aren't hurting anyone and it doesn't effect anyone else. However, this is false. For every male couple there are two women who will miss out on the opportunity to marry. And for every female couple there are two men who will miss out on the opportunity to marry. This is not fact of course. There is about a 1:1 ratio of men and women on the earth.

We are different. Everyone is different. Life would be so boring if we were the same. However, we are different for a good reason! We are to help balance one another. What one gender lacks the other tends to make up for it. This is how it was all designed before we were even born. Gender is all part of God's plan for us and is actually very important because families are central to Heavenly Father's plan. These topics have helped me see more how important families are.

Learning Disabilities

To simulate a learning disability I had to ask people questions and I could not use any words that had "l" or "n" in it. This was really hard for me to figure out a scenario I could do without using "l" or "n". Most questions words have these letters in them, heLp, wiLL, waNt, caN, etc. I was thinking about this activity for days trying to figure out what I could do. Finally I decided to ask someone a questions about where something was and then restate the directions back to them and then ask a questions at a store.

On campus today I stopped a girl walking and said, "Excuse me, where is Birch?" She proceeded to tell me she didn't know because it was her first semester and asked where it was near. I paused and thought about a campus building it was near and then had to double check if it had "n" or "l" in it. I couldn't say the I-Center but I could say the Hart! I told her and then when she could direct me that way I tried to restate the directions back but I messed up and said "left". It was so hard not to use words that had "l" or "n" in them.

For my second option, I went to Walgreen's and asked a lady where the oreos were. She told me the aisle and then I asked how much they cost. She said she didn't know but she could take me there. I felt so bad because I wanted to thank her but I couldn't say thank you so on our walk over I was thinking what I could say and after she showed me I just said, perfect! I felt kind of rude not being able to say thank you or be able to talk to her more.

This was an interesting experience to see how hard it was to come up with things to say that did not include the letters "l" or "n". The simulation helped me notice the long pauses that are needed to think or the drawn out sentences that can occur if someone has a learning disability.

Confessions From Behind the Mask

For four hours I had to wear four different masks-one each hour- each simulating a different visual impairment. 

Glaucoma Simulation (12:30pm-1:30pm)

This is the first mask. It was pretty hard to focus my vision. I tended to focus more out of the left eye because the hole in the mask was slightly larger. My neck was strained a lot too because of the limited vision. I had no peripheral vision which made it awkward to look at people. I tended to keep my head down and it was very hard to be aware of my environment. I did not interact with anyone because it was too hard to focus on them. Even when I ate my lunch I didn't even realize I spilled food on the front of my shirt till later. As I did homework during this time and it was very hard to focus on the computer screen and it made typing really difficult. When I do my homework, I normally have both earplugs in listening to music but I took one out to heighten my sense of my surrounding so people wouldn't scare me every time they walked into my vision and I didn't hear them coming. It would be so hard to be deaf and have limited vision! I had to over-exaggerate turning my head to see what is on the side of me. I wanted to be invisible. I had to hold my phone or other objects farther out in front of me so I could focus on them better. It was interesting what effects this had with my normal routine. 

Loss of an Eye Simulation [Causes loss of depth of field-limits dominant eye] (1:30-2:30)

This simulation was very interesting because my mom cannot see out of her left eye. It was interesting to put myself in her shoes to see what she experiences every day. I continued doing homework and this mask made it much easier to focus and read. I ended up switched my one headphone to my left ear to hear what was coming from my right since I couldn't see that way-as you can see in the picture. I enjoyed being able to have peripheral vision again, even if it was just in one eye. This mask wasn't that bad. It didn't effect my learning or ability too much. I recognized that my left eye became a little more strained. But that's about the only disadvantage I noticed. 

Problem with the Lens Simulation [ie. astigmatism] (2:30-3:30)

This mask was my least favorite. Luckily I was in my Exceptional Students class. So I was able to have their help to know what was going on. But I could not see a thing. Everything was blurry and I could not see anything or read anything, It was a joke to even try to read the power point or read the handout. When class was done I still had 30 minutes left, so I just went and sat in the hallway and talked to another classmate who was wearing the same mask. We could hardly see each other or those that were passing us in the hall. I felt as if I was blind. There were two spots in the mask that I could see a bit clearly but I had to move my head into an awkward position to see. By the end of this simulation my eyes were tired and I had a bit of a headache. 

Macular Degeneration Simulation (3:30-4:30)

This one wasn't that bad. I was supposed to focus on the green pieces of paper and only use my peripheral vision. It was hard to not focus above or below the paper. I was able to type and text and do other homework. The time seemed to go by faster and I wasn't as shy when I talked to people.

Wearing these masks reminds me of the Phantom from the Phantom of the Opera- my favorite musical! He was invisible and hid himself and that's what I did. I hid in the education building on campus and did homework and had class till my four hours were up. I thought about the individuals in the Bible who were blind. How amazing it would be to see again and have vision restored! We rely so much on what we can see. I am so thankful for my ability to see and that we have technology and resources to correct our vision. I wear contacts and when I take my contacts out I can see but things that are about 5 feet away are blurry. 

Culture and Tradition

When you hear the word culture what do you think of? Do you think of authentic food, countries, your family? Do you think of traditional dances or outfits in a specific culture like Native American or Hispanic? For me I think of traditional clothing and history of certain nations or people. However, these are examples of culture on a large scale. What about the smaller scale? What cultures do we have in the US, in our state, our city, our home, or even between other individuals?

There is culture everywhere we look. Culture can be defined as a group of people with similar patterns of living or traditions. Take a few minutes and think about your own life, think about your family. What cultures do you have? Now out of those cultures which ones do you want to keep and which ones do you want to do away with? I have heard that it takes about 3 generations for a bad habit or tradition within a family to dissipate.

This is a perfect time to be thinking about traditions with the holidays coming up. Everyone has a different thing they do for each holiday and little traditions that somehow became a tradition because one year someone did something and it became memorable. My thanksgivings growing up included us sitting around the table with food overflowing and so many options available. Before we began the feast-which lasts about 2-3 hours- we would go around in a circle and say one thing we were grateful for that year, then we hold hands and say a prayer of thanks and a blessing over the food. Then we eat and enjoy each others company. I have never sat at the "kids table" because there never was one. My favorite foods at Thanksgiving is the candied yams and the olives. Thanksgiving is not the same without these things. This past year I had Thanksgiving in California. This was a completely different experience for me. One, we ate outside. Two, we had salad. I have never had salad at Thanksgiving before. Three, we had three separate tables for people to sit at that weren't pushed together. Now all of this was very strange to me and I missed so much the foods that are tradition in my family.

Traditions can cause a problem in some families lives. When two people are married they have to make the decisions what traditions and culture they plan to keep together and there is some compromising that will have to be made. Changes in tradition and culture can really impact and drastically change the family structure. Immigration as an example can change the family structure so much not just with their culture but the traditions they bring with them or choose to leave behind.

With the holidays coming up, look at what traditions you have and ask yourself how they came about, why are they kept, and would you continue them in your own family setting or change them?

Stuttering

This weekend I had to simulate as if I had a stutter in a public situation. Now I love doing social experiments. I find it so interesting how people react to different situations or uncommon ones. It kind of shocked me what happened, how people reacted and how I reacted to this assignment.

This weekend I was going to Salt Lake City to visit family and I planned to do this assignment in SLC not in Rexburg. This was interesting because I am not normally afraid what people think of me but for some reason I felt really embarrassed if I were to do this on campus or around campus afraid someone who hear me and judge me because they thought I actually had a stutter. So I decided to do this in SLC.

I went to Best Buy to look at laptop cases. When I got there I thought I would just have to talk to one sales associate and the clerk and I would fulfill the assignments requirements. However, I asked one associate and he had to get another and that one had to get someone else. So in the end I talked to 4 store associates and one clerk. The whole time I acted as if I had a stutter. The first couple of associates looked at me and seemed a bit impatient and didn't really care to help me they just did their job and passed me off to someone else. There was one associate who helped me a lot and was kind the whole time. Not taking notice of my stutter. I asked him to help me find the case I found online and to price check three other cases I was interested in. The clerk was also very nice and patient with me. I asked him about the return policy and asked him a few questions about the coupon I used.

Throughout the whole time in the store I varied what type of stuttering I would do by repeating certain words and pausing and repeating sounds of words. Here is an example:
Associate: "Did you see the other name brand cases in the front?"
Me: "Yeah they were up-up-up-up-up there and it wasssn't there."

It was interesting to see how having a stutter affected me and my confidence. I found myself wanting to respond with one word so I wouldn't have to stutter as much and I found that as I walked around the store I avoided asking the attractive employees questions because I was embarrassed. Also I realized as I walked around I kept my head down and I could feel my confidence was lacking. As I kept talking to other store associates I forgot about the embarrassing feelings and was able to feel more confident near the end of the store visit.

It was interesting to me to study beforehand what people with stutters sound like. I haven't been around many people who have a stutter or recognized they had a stutter. As I watched videos of people who stuttered I realized that there are so many different severity's of a stutter. Some have had lots of help with speech therapy and speak normally except a few stutters in a paragraph. I also realized that I stutter a lot and have never been diagnosed with a speech impediment. This is just because I get nervous or my brain in working faster than my mouth. It gave me a greater appreciation for those who live with a stutter 24/7 and the fears they have to overcome daily.

The Exchange

In my Family Relations class this week, we talked about different social theories. One was the exchange theory. Have you ever been in a relationship or had a friend where it just took so much effort on your part to make things work? Have you ever felt like you put in more time for that person or gave up more than they did? Did this stress you out? Did you want to continue the effort?

We've all had situations where we have given more than we receive. Now this is okay. It is nice to do good things for others and not expect things in return. However, in some relationships it can be frustrating when things aren't reciprocated. Some things are just expected. Like when someone says hello to someone on the street it is polite to say hello back.

Some examples...
I do the dishes in my apartment and then the next day I do them again. My roommates notice that I have now done them two days in a row. So a positive exchange would be for one of them to do the dishes the next day. If I have to do them a third day it can be a little frustrating. Don't get me wrong, I love doing the dishes but it's always nice for others to make an effort to help. Or what about this. You're texting a good friend and want to catch up with them but they make no effort to continue the conversation. After a while of one worded answers to try to strike up a conversation you give up. Or what about the mother who does all the house work, helps with a science project, and cooks dinner for her family. She put a lot of effort into helping the family and the home. She could get stressed and give up or keep going depending on if she gets a thank you or help cleaning the dishes after dinner because she worked hard doing everything else.

Equal exchanges help us want to invest more time and effort into a relationship. When we put a lot of time and effort into a relationship, costing us a lot, but we get little to no benefits from it, it can be taxing. You'll notice that there is exchanges in a lot of things you do. What are some examples from your life?

Look How Far We've Come

Did you know how far we have come with special education in the US? You could say it all started with the civil rights movements. There were so many sacrifices of others to get special education. It started as hiding those with disabilities -out of sight out of mind- which led to institutions, then no institutionalization, to mainstreaming, to what we have now, inclusion.

There are still countries today where children with disabilities are still institutionalized! We watched a NBC Dateline about mental institutions in Serbia. I learned a lot watching this video that we have come a long way to help the specific needs of individuals but there is still so much more we can do. As I watched these different clips, I wondered if there is anything I can do to help these individuals in Serbia and the others like them across the world. I want to learn more about this. It will help me in the future as I work with children with disabilities and their parents because it can still be a fight for parents to get the education their child needs when it comes to special education. Many parents get frustrated that their child doesn't get everything the way they hoped for but I am so grateful for what we do have and for how far we have come. 

My peers helped me learn more about other points of view. As we discussed they helped me see just how far we have come and how great it is that we can have all the great opportunities we now have for those with disabilities. We were able to learn a lot from each other as we discussed this video. For those who want to watch this I have included the link below.

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/26332429/ns/dateline_nbc-international/t/serbias-horrific-institutions-relic-past/#.VJNAKCvF9Ns

The Importance of Families

This past week I watched a really interesting documentary called Demographic Winter. (I included the link to the video below for you overachievers to go watch.) Just a quick summary about Demographic Winter, it focuses on the rate of the population and the effects of people having children- or rather not having children. I am shocked at how the fertility rate is declining everywhere- not just in the US! I ask myself "Why is this happening? Why don’t people want kids?" I have always wanted children. It is one of my life goals to have a good sized family, one like how I was raised. It was normal to me for people to have a family with 3+ kids. Watching this video helped me see just how wrong I was!

There are so many people who think one or two children is perfect. There are a lot who don't even want kids. Some of you may be this way and that's your choice. There are a lot of reasons why people don't want kids or don't want a lot. They believe there aren't enough resources or space to have larger families. But in reality there are plenty of resources and space. Of course money could be an issue but no matter the reasoning, families and having children are important.

Think about it. If people started to have just one or two children our population would eventually start to decrease. What would that do to jobs? Where would people find support? I don't know about you but my family is my first source of support and help when things don't go how I planned. What would this do to the creativity and innovation in our society? Think this has nothing to do with having children? I know it does. As more and more people have less children there won't be anyone to take over the jobs others retire from. That means we will have to work harder and be more efficient. There also won't be a lot of people to bounce ideas off of and our creativity and innovation will die down. Families also play a huge role in society. There are so many things that are learned in families that are hard to learn elsewhere.

I am LDS and was raised hearing how families are important. It wasn't until I watched this documentary that I realized just how important families are. It effects the society, it effects individuals, and it effects the world. Of course it is everyone's personal choice to have kids or not but I strongly encourage anyone to do so! Happiness is within the family.

Demographic Winter: http://www.byutv.org/show/5e819b00-5e99-4bf4-931e-c154d3c2dc8d/new-economic-reality-demographic-winter 

This Journey Called Life

Hello! Just a little background, my name is Celeste and I am currently studying Child Development at Brigham Young University-Idaho and I love it! I am so passionate about the home and family. My goal is to become a home educator, I'm excited for what the future moments have to bring. The purpose of this blog is to share my thoughts and ideas with others about the different topics around the family and education. In turn, I hope to hear from all of you about your beliefs and views on these things as well! So feel free and comment. I hope to also talk about my experiences I have in this journey called life!