The Exchange

In my Family Relations class this week, we talked about different social theories. One was the exchange theory. Have you ever been in a relationship or had a friend where it just took so much effort on your part to make things work? Have you ever felt like you put in more time for that person or gave up more than they did? Did this stress you out? Did you want to continue the effort?

We've all had situations where we have given more than we receive. Now this is okay. It is nice to do good things for others and not expect things in return. However, in some relationships it can be frustrating when things aren't reciprocated. Some things are just expected. Like when someone says hello to someone on the street it is polite to say hello back.

Some examples...
I do the dishes in my apartment and then the next day I do them again. My roommates notice that I have now done them two days in a row. So a positive exchange would be for one of them to do the dishes the next day. If I have to do them a third day it can be a little frustrating. Don't get me wrong, I love doing the dishes but it's always nice for others to make an effort to help. Or what about this. You're texting a good friend and want to catch up with them but they make no effort to continue the conversation. After a while of one worded answers to try to strike up a conversation you give up. Or what about the mother who does all the house work, helps with a science project, and cooks dinner for her family. She put a lot of effort into helping the family and the home. She could get stressed and give up or keep going depending on if she gets a thank you or help cleaning the dishes after dinner because she worked hard doing everything else.

Equal exchanges help us want to invest more time and effort into a relationship. When we put a lot of time and effort into a relationship, costing us a lot, but we get little to no benefits from it, it can be taxing. You'll notice that there is exchanges in a lot of things you do. What are some examples from your life?